Not much longer

I try to stay connected with other preemie moms.  A question came from another preemie mom wondering how others feel when they see their friends and family having a "normal" pregnancy.  It's an interesting question that comes up in the minds of every new mom that has only experienced a short pregnancy.  The general reaction is jealousy and resentment.  I admit I felt that, too. For quite some time.  I am not sure when it happened, but eventually through the grieving process you find acceptance.  That led me to the silver lining and blessing that only preemie moms get to experience.  We get a window into the miracle.  I was witness to the change that normally exists only within a woman.  

My son was only one pound at birth.  One was still fused, his ears still low and mostly fused, his skin was transparent and very delicate, and he had very little movement that would've translated to the flutters I felt with him.  We watched him develop his features as well start the movements that most mommies know as those kicks in third trimester.   He was always amazing to me, but when I look back I don't see a child struggling, I see a child surviving.  

Now, as Gianluca gets older, we get some criticism on his development.  Regardless of anything he is our child and is amazing.  We feel he has progress passed his age in intelligence.  He may be on the smaller size for height and weight but he is so strong.  The doctor said once we take him off the Sildenafil, heart meds, he would start to get tired and lack some of the energy he had.  He obviously does not know my Gianluca.  If anything he has more energy, it's so difficult to get him to sleep and he will play all day long with anyone willing to sit on the floor with him.  

With the perspective I had on my first pregnancy, I wasn't sure what to expect with my second.  I was excited to finally have the experience of a so-caled "normal" pregnancy.  I think we've done pretty well.  We have made it to 35 weeks, into that mysterious 3rd trimester I have heard so much about.  We are less than 2 weeks away from the birth of our little girl.  I have to say I give a lot of credit to the women out there that go to 40 weeks and beyond.  At 35 weeks, I am ready.  I know every woman is different but the few I have spoken to have the same reaction as me.  The tightness, soreness and feeling tired all the time.  The inevitable waddle that you try to avoid but sneaks it's way out when you walk the aisles of the grocery store.  I watched a woman carry her 4 year old child at 37 weeks pregnant and I just am amazed at what us women think we can handle.  Gianluca still wants to be carried but he's only 23 1/2 lbs.  It's definitely an amazing journey.

So I can now say I have had both pregnancies.  Both my babies have given me gifts that I will cherish.  Our little girl's most updated estimated weight is 5lbs 4oz.  It's official that I can put the preemie clothes up for sale.  She will be close to 7lbs at birth I think.  I still worry about the need for going into the NICU but I have faith that she will be very healthy and we will take her home right away.